The Christmas thing was supposed to involve all of us. Or so I thought. Perhaps they could have thought of involving us right from the start. Because its like now, everybody don't know what it is about and when we're asked to give our opinions, to me, its like give what opinions when I don't know whats going on and when you all have already like planned everything out?
Actually I know that feeling left out is common. Its not like people intentionally leave you out. Its just that you cannot please everyone at the same time. I know that. And it would be best and just let things pass by till things are better. But to me, its one of the greatest betrayals friends can give. To me, its like "Oh, you're not good enough to be part of us." that sort of thing. It makes me bitter, makes me hate, makes me angry, and makes me isolate myself. Because if you don't know a person well, it doesn't matter if they leave you out. The closer you are, the greater the betrayal.
But in church, its difficult to maintain a passive relationship after so many things we do together. That just makes the betrayals even deeper and harder. It really takes alot alot of effort to put all these setbacks behind me and move on. Alot of prayers, alot of thinking, alot of trying to understand. But it just keeps happening and I'm sick of it all.
